A NEW RELEASE IN MAY 2022
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Whit’s End was inspired by Allan Evan’s Algorithm: IF a man has a royal bloodline, THEN he must be included in Britain’s Line of Succession to the throne. Whit and Hazel have royal genes in spades. All they wanted was a cuppa tea at their ancestral Whittington Castle. When Sergeant Devon Walpole charged the Whitingtons with an attempt to steal the castle, he met his match.
WITNESS THESE FINE TESTIMONIALS:
“I find it preposterous that a tenth generation, American woman (nicknamed ‘Whit’) and her sister, Hazel, believe they have the right to claim the throne of Great Britain, simply because they descend from the great monarchs of England. It takes a whole lot more than a pedigree to be a Queen of our great nation. It is ridiculous to even suggest one’s birth alone could qualify him or her to serve as our monarch.” -Lord William Dunham Rubblestock IV of Closmore Linsdale, Third Earl of Weasly
“I find it highly improbable that anyone could think of stealing a castle in England and transporting it, stone by stone, to the states, in carry-on luggage. At least not the carry-on luggage I commonly rummage through as flight security agent in the Greater Rumstock and Dilbey airport here in Flimsy-on-Thames. Maybe a good Samsonite suitcase, or a Spectra 2.0 Global Carry-On, but not your standard carry-on. But what do I know? I’m just a commoner.” – Aden T. Throckmorton, Devon, England
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EXCERPTS FROM WHIT’S END
“Turn the page and you’ll see.” The words slipped almost silently off Whit’s lips.
As I turned the page Whit’s hand reached in to stop me. “There. Right there.” She spoke in a hushed tone, as if perhaps, the room was wired and the FBI was listening. My mother-in-law’s fingers came to rest on a name highlighted in bold: “22x Great-Grandfather, Edward I, King of England, 1239-1307.”
“Ah. I see. So, you descend from King Edward, old Longshanks. The bastard that annihilated my Scots.”
* * *
“I’ve never seen anything like it.” Edwin Hollister III, manager of the Europcar Rental of the Birmingham Airport, spoke in a reverent tone bordering on a whisper. “This woman, Whit, stood back from the counter and lunched on a bit of pastry from the bagel shop over there.” Hollister pointed at the Burnt Bagel and Burger Shop. According to Hollister, “Whit’s sister, Hazel, disappeared into a novelty shop, picking out pieces of stained glass ornaments fit for a Christmas tree…” Hollister wiped the sweat away from his brow and shook his head in wonder. “Who knew a couple of demure, innocent looking senior citizens, such as themselves, could be caught up in such a vainglorious mission?” -Edwin Hollister III, Hollister’s Testimony as found in Whit’s End
* * *
Sarah Pilcher answered a news reporter’s question. “I was just doing my job, minding the store, dusting down the shelves… And that’s when she came into the Glass Factory Christmas Shop. This woman was looking at these nutcrackers here and then the stain glass ornaments over there caught her eye. She goes over to them and begins a critique of the materials, the solder line and joints. She seems to know her stuff. She takes out a pad of paper and sketches pictures of her favorite ornaments. She rattles off the names of each of her children and pretty soon, I even know who is going to get which ornament for Christmas. But she isn’t buying from me, you understand. She’s going to make them in her studio. I should bill her for the design concepts.”
“So she does buy some Toblerone bars I have up by the cash register and we chat it up a bit. I mean, Hollister was still a long way from getting a car set up for her family. She tells me her name is Hazel, says she is from the states and that her family is here to take over a castle. After she leaves my store, I wait for the family to leave the airport. I don’t want any trouble, you see. But I had to notify security.” -Sarah Pilcher, Pilcher’s Observation as found in Whit’s End
* * *
Sergeant Walpole continued: “It isn’t just Whittington Castle, they’re after. No! They’re thinking big, really big. They drove from Whittington Castle, over the pass into Wales and got into Caernarfon Castle. They’re going to steal Caernarfon Castle! Who steals a castle? Bloody right! And yet there she was! In Wales! I think they’re still up to something big! Bloody awful mess. That’s what it is.” -Sergeant Devon Walpole, Why Caernarfon? as found in Whit’s End
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WHITTINGTON CASTLE
“Our interest in the Whittington Castle and Caernarfon was rooted in a one-thousand-year history involving countless battles. Our ancestors, British and Welsh alike, toiled to keep the castle in the extended family inventory of assets. While the castle was one of many held by my ancestors, I understand Whittington Castle was the one fortress to bear our family name. I wanted to see it for myself…” —Claire Whitington O’Brien, Claire’s Story found in Whit’s End
Whit’s End Testimonials More About Whit’s End
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